Janine's Sister Big Ang battles Cancer

[00:00:00] Mhm.
[00:00:10] Janine- Maya View: Hey guys, welcome back to the Surviving Siblings podcast. Today I have such a cool guest. I have Janine DeTore. Janine, welcome to the show.
[00:00:23] Janine Ep- Janine View: Thank you for having me.
[00:00:24] Janine- Maya View: It's my pleasure. I am excited to hear more about your story. As I always say, it's super bittersweet to meet like this, but It's a wonderful, wonderful place to share more about your incredible sister, Angela, who had quite the interesting life and you've had quite an interesting life too.
[00:00:45] Janine- Maya View: So Janine, I would love if you could tell us a little bit about your relationship with Angela, where you guys fell in the family, kind of take us back to your family dynamics. We'd love to hear about that.
[00:00:57] Janine Ep- Janine View: So, um, I'm the youngest of [00:01:00] seven. Angela is in between their five. So our oldest sibling is a girl. Her name is Donna. Then we have a brother, Stephen, a brother, Ronald, a brother, Louis, then Angela, then a brother, George, and me.
[00:01:16] Janine- Maya View: The baby.
[00:01:18] Janine Ep- Janine View: The baby. Um, I actually wasn't a baby until my mother passed away. And I kind of took over that role cause I had the most kids and I was the most home.
[00:01:30] Janine Ep- Janine View: So, um, I had to take care of my nieces and nephews because my mother wasn't there to do it anymore. My sister had to go to work, but let's go back to when I was like five years old.
[00:01:43] Janine- Maya View: Yeah, let's do it.
[00:01:45] Janine Ep- Janine View: That's pretty long ago. Cause I am 58 now. Um, my sister, my mother worked, my mother was a bar owner, like my sister. So, and my father worked, so I needed babysitter.
[00:01:58] Janine Ep- Janine View: So my sister, Donna [00:02:00] sometimes took care of me. And most of the times I was with Angela. So because I was so, let me tell you something funny. She used to have to take me with her, you know, so she would go meet up with her friends or something. I had to be behind her. I'm six years younger than her. So, um, she used to dress me nice and do my hair and stuff, but my underwear, when I was a kid, because I was so small, my underwear never fit.
[00:02:28] Janine Ep- Janine View: They were always so big. I don't know why. So she had the name, she had made up a name for me, and she used to call me G. Chabelle Muma. Don't ask me what it was for. Cause I have no idea, but that's what she used to call me, you know, back then she did change as I got older. Um, let me tell you a little about our family story.
[00:02:52] Janine Ep- Janine View: So me and Angela were five and seven, you know, we're six years apart. My birthday is June [00:03:00] 28th. Her birthday is June 30th. So I never ever had a cake without my sister until she passed away. And I was 49. Well, I was turning, I was 49 turning 50. So for my 30th birthday, I had my husband, I had a party for me for my 40th birthday.
[00:03:21] Janine Ep- Janine View: He gave the reins to my sister and she had it for me. And then when she was in, um, getting her chemo treatments, you know, I used to walk around the hospital and talk to the other people because I was there every time. So, Um, she had conversations with my husband about my 50th birthday. It had unbeknownst to me until the party actually came and I wouldn't get out of the car.
[00:03:46] Janine Ep- Janine View: So in any case, we were so close. We had children, we were pregnant together. We had our children together. Um, I never vacationed without Angela. She, she vacationed without me, but I never [00:04:00] vacationed , without her. She was my other half. You know what I mean? Like people think it's weird because you know, your husband's supposed to be your other half, but I feel like my husband is my other half too, but I feel like I could spread myself around, especially with having seven children of my own.
[00:04:18] Janine Ep- Janine View: We didn't come from like, um,, rich beginnings. We were comfortable. But, you know, we, they had to work my brothers and sisters and they did, you know, so it was hard when she got pregnant at first and she wasn't with the guy. And my mother was very aggravated and, you know, we were happy that she was having her first child, even though she was alone, having it, but it was, you know, our relationship was, I was at the doctor and every time she had
[00:04:50] Janine- Maya View: Yeah.
[00:04:51] Janine Ep- Janine View: To see the baby, you know, to have the checkups and stuff.
[00:04:56] Janine Ep- Janine View: And no matter what happened, I was always [00:05:00] there. She was married to someone before she had the baby. And, um, you know, he left and I had my mother thought it was a good idea that I stay with her. So she put me in car service and I had to go to her apartment. Well, after a week, I have to tell you, Maya, I just thought maybe I was going to jump out the window.
[00:05:22] Janine- Maya View: Okay. Tell us why, why ? 
[00:05:23] Janine Ep- Janine View: Like I, at that point never knew my sister to pry. So now not only is she trying, but she's laying face down on the bed. So I'm literally talking to the back of her head. And you know, little that she couldn't really even talk. So we stood there, her and I and her dog. We about a week, I stood there for about a week and I called my mother and I said, we have to come home because first of all, she was only 19, you know, when I'm six, I was only 13.
[00:05:57] Janine Ep- Janine View: Like, what was
[00:05:58] Janine- Maya View: so young. I was just gonna ask like, [00:06:00] how old were you? You're 13. This is, that's
[00:06:02] Janine Ep- Janine View: Yeah. I used to go over there and, and I used to say, you know, make sure she didn't do anything stupid, make sure she ate, drank, stuff like that. You know, kind of be like a nursemaid, you know, you know, For a lack of better words,
[00:06:17] Janine- Maya View: So your roles kind of shifted Janine, right? Like
[00:06:20] Janine Ep- Janine View: our role shifted,
[00:06:20] Janine- Maya View: had Yeah. You
[00:06:22] Janine Ep- Janine View: our role
[00:06:22] Janine- Maya View: kind of the caretaker at that point, right?
[00:06:25] Janine Ep- Janine View: My role, our role shifted big time when my mother died. I don't know, but I don't know if you know if I have, I have this book that I wrote, and I'll tell you the reason why I wrote it. But in this book there's fun facts, and because I was, I thought I was losing my mind at one point, Um, I had to go to the doctor.
[00:06:47] Janine Ep- Janine View: I thought I was dying. I thought I was going to die. I, I was a mess when she died. But, um, fun fact is my mom, me and my sister, Angela, and my sister, [00:07:00] Donna. Donna is June 6th. My mom is June 21st. I'm June 28th, like I said, and she's June 30th. My mom died February. is and my sister died February 18th. So they, and they were both going to be 56 in June.
[00:07:18] Janine Ep- Janine View: So they both died at 55. So I'm weirded out a little bit by
[00:07:21] Janine- Maya View: I am too. But I'm super into like numbers and signs. I don't know about you Janine, but like,
[00:07:26] Janine Ep- Janine View: I'm into numbers. I'm into numbers big time and signs. Cause I know my sister would never leave me. I know she's here somewhere. You know, she's always that little voice in my head, or there's, there are times that I hear her actually say things to me. You know, it's very strange, but I do believe in it. So I started getting the calculator out and I'm trying to figure out and my mom and my sister, my mom lived 20, 320 days.
[00:07:58] Janine Ep- Janine View: And my sister lived [00:08:00] 3, 000, um, 20, 321 days.
[00:08:03] Janine- Maya View: Wow. You are really into numbers. 
[00:08:05] Janine Ep- Janine View: I'm always like, you know, Oh my God, this can't be, it was so close. She was going to be 56. My mother was going to be 56 that June. I'm like, this is too freaky. And they both died, same age. My mom was, uh, died in 1988 and my sister died in 2016. So it was, it was hard because listen, when my mom died, I was only 21. I had just given birth six months ago to my son, Louis, you know, that was the apple of her eye. Because I'm the baby. So that usually happened, how
[00:08:44] Janine Ep- Janine View: So at that point in our lives, we were doing, my mom was doing fabulous. She had a wonderful husband, had a great stepfather.
[00:08:53] Janine Ep- Janine View: Um, my father was still, you know, hanging around, you know, he came for holidays and he was friendly, but my, [00:09:00] stepfather and all that. And it was really a great dynamic that was going on and how our mother showed us how to be together all the time for every occasion, for every anything. Like me and my, my sister loved to go to Carvel on Wednesday, because Wednesday's buy one, get one free. She said, well, we get Carvel tonight. I'm like, no one would ever realize, like even me, I didn't realize a lot of things until I actually. Had to go through things like go through letters and go through cards and go through anything Like I made up this my sister my friend. Okay, I have it here the day she died.
[00:09:45] Janine Ep- Janine View: I ran and got it Okay But a few months after I got this I was going through the stuff, you know, because I couldn't the first few months and there was a card And in [00:10:00] the front of the card it said my sister my friend You
[00:10:04] Janine- Maya View: It's a sign. I believe in it. I totally believe in these signs.
[00:10:08] Janine Ep- Janine View: my treasure chest here. You can't believe it. She thought I was crazy too, because I thought it was fabulous. Having a TV, TV show, sister, a fan, because I'm like the biggest fan, you know, I was always, Angela was always Angela, like this big, big force, you know, like everybody knew her. She didn't make, you know, my wife didn't make my sister.
[00:10:31] Janine Ep- Janine View: My sister made my wife's, you know what I mean? She stepped into that role. As the godmother and it was perfect. And she was a little scaredy cat. My sister, you
[00:10:43] Janine- Maya View: really, how was she,
[00:10:45] Janine Ep- Janine View: nobody knows the sensitive. That's why I wrote this book because like everybody always says, Oh my God, here comes big hands. No, Angela was five, 10.
[00:10:56] Janine Ep- Janine View: I'm five, one. And truthfully I'm the [00:11:00] mouth always, but I'm the one who will tell you off. And here, like my sister would bring me these things. Do you see this? I have this, you know, she would bring me all these,
[00:11:11] Janine- Maya View: So for those of you listening, cause we do audio and video, Janine. So it says a true sister is a friend who listens with her heart. So like your sister would give you these things.
[00:11:20] Janine Ep- Janine View: these little things. Look at this one.
[00:11:23] Janine- Maya View: So no one listens, loves, and understands like my sister. Yeah. You guys have, I am just so again, loving having you on, on the podcast, Janine, because I think it's
[00:11:35] Janine- Maya View: Bond. Yeah. The bond that you had with, yeah. Well, she's here with us for sure. I believe in that. If you guys believe in that, cool. If not, it's cool.
[00:11:43] Janine- Maya View: Yeah. And I think it's interesting that you identify as the voice, but she was kind of the big presence, but you were the voice.
[00:11:51] Janine Ep- Janine View: but if she fought with somebody. She would say to them, I'm getting my sister. And I used to call me up and I used to go, do you realize the size of me? She goes, [00:12:00] I know what you do. It's so much better than I do. And I, I, all right, I'm coming. And I would go, you know, that's just how the role was.
[00:12:09] Janine Ep- Janine View: That's just how it was.
[00:12:10] Janine- Maya View: Right. 
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[00:13:54] Janine Ep- Janine View: , if you look at old pictures of us, like it was always like this, this [00:14:00] one here is when I was young. And my other sister was here and my mom, but I always went to Angela for some reason.
[00:14:10] Janine- Maya View: Yeah, your pictures are, if you guys are listening to this, they're always together. They're always next to
[00:14:15] Janine- Maya View: It's interesting that you, because you come from such a big family,
[00:14:19] Janine Ep- Janine View: I know it's
[00:14:20] Janine- Maya View: just always gravitated. Yeah.
[00:14:22] Janine Ep- Janine View: but you know what else, you know, she didn't really have to take me on with her on her journey to, you know, her fame, you know, You know, she had anybody she could have picked. We have a very large family, cousin, wives, and niece and sister in laws and whatever. She didn't have to pick me at all.
[00:14:43] Janine Ep- Janine View: And she was like, no, my sister's coming on it. And you see how we celebrated. We always celebrate,
[00:14:50] Janine- Maya View: together.
[00:14:52] Janine- Maya View: I do want to go back to something you said before we continue forward about talking about how your sister was your other half.
[00:14:59] Janine- Maya View: [00:15:00] This is so interesting to me, and I'm curious about a couple of things, but I connect with you on this because my brother and I. I know you just know a little bit about my story, but obviously lost my brother to homicide. It was same year. You know, we've got that connection too, but my brother and I have the same exact birthday three years apart.
[00:15:19] Janine- Maya View: We had going to blow your mind. Same due date, two weeks late, born the same day, weighed the same three years apart.
[00:15:30] Janine Ep- Janine View: Are you the only, were you the only two siblings?
[00:15:32] Janine- Maya View: Nope, I'm the oldest of four. So there's people, there's, you know, sandwiched in between, we have a sister, and then I have a sister ten years younger than me. So I have two surviving sisters.
[00:15:41] Janine- Maya View: But there was something special, and this is why I connect with your story so much, Janine, because I love my sisters, I do, but there's something different with my brother and I. And, I mean, it's kind of written in the stars. That was, you know, Two weeks, same due date, same birthday, weighed the
[00:15:56] Janine- Maya View: the other half comment, I said that before I ever [00:16:00] started this show and I was really like you were gonna get to because you mentioned this when we were before recording about going through the process and we're going to get to that for sure.
[00:16:07] Janine- Maya View: But when I was like, why am I struggling? And it's not a comparison, but I really took his death. So hard and I was like, God, I feel like I lost half of like cut me down the middle half. Like I would keep saying that. So it gives me chills that you said that because, and it doesn't mean that like my, my partner, my, cause I got married two years after my brother, three years, actually, after my brother died and met my husband two years after, but like.
[00:16:34] Janine- Maya View: I always struggled to explain that to him because I was like, no, you're like you said you said it so perfectly No, you're my other half too. But like this is also my it's like a spiritual half that like unless you've experienced it It's really difficult to describe 
[00:16:50] Janine- Maya View: You're a mom of a big family. You come from a big family. You have a lot of responsibility. You're a business owner, right? You were on television with your sister, which I want to talk about that. And I also want to [00:17:00] talk about a couple other things too, but that's a, that's a lot.
[00:17:03] Janine- Maya View: And then you're also telling me that you're very OCD. I feel like when we go through such a significant loss, like losing our sibling. This could be the biggest loss we go through, and that's what people don't know until they go through it. But I feel like all of these character traits that we have, or all of these habits that we have, get really magnified because it can be easier to just burn ourselves out and go, go, go, go, go, versus sitting, kind of like you going to the fair, sitting with the thought and the feeling for the moment and allowing yourself to cry or scream or whatever you need to do.
[00:17:36] Janine- Maya View: It's, that's a little harder to do, but it is the healthy thing to do, to your point. Don't you, don't you think that we kind of
[00:17:42] Janine Ep- Janine View: I think it is healthy. And I think, yes, it definitely is magnified by 100.
[00:17:48] Janine- Maya View: Please.
[00:17:49] Janine Ep- Janine View: 100, put me on the list for that.
[00:17:53] Janine Ep- Janine View: So I, listen, when she was sick, my sister, I made deals with God, the devil, a leprechaun. I could, [00:18:00] I was making deals with everybody,
[00:18:01] Janine- Maya View: Let's, let's talk about that, Janine. So she was diagnosed when, because I know she passed, we've talked about this already, and so when was she diagnosed? So this was quite, quite quick, this process. And what type of cancer did she have? Just so everybody
[00:18:16] Janine Ep- Janine View: my sister, I was doing Palm Sunday.
[00:18:20] Janine- Maya View: hmm.
[00:18:21] Janine Ep- Janine View: I'm standing by my counselor, but I like to lay like, sweet facade, I'm going to sit out loud, you know, just in case people stop by. I knew she was coming early and she likes to eat that.
[00:18:30] Janine Ep- Janine View: So she says, you know what? I'm always doing this. And I says, I know, are you all right? Like what's wrong with you? What's going on with you? Cause I took her to the, um, Thyroid doctor thought maybe it was her thyroid. It did look a little enlarged. We do have bulgy eyes and that's one of the symptoms. So she went, this was all before today, and everything was really good with her.
[00:18:56] Janine Ep- Janine View: So really it was nothing. But the whole [00:19:00] year that she filmed, she kept telling me you didn't get me an antibiotic. I said, why? My ear is killing me. And I know my sister can't take pain. She's not like me. Like I had four of my kids with no epidural knowledge. You know, I can go to the dentist and not get no pain.
[00:19:18] Janine Ep- Janine View: So I
[00:19:19] Janine- Maya View: you have different pain thresholds, so you, yeah. Right.
[00:19:21] Janine Ep- Janine View: she's not like that. She wants to be numb, put out, put her on, hit her on the head with a mallet. You know, she's not like that. So I, I was getting her antibiotics from my friend, the doctor, and I was treating her for an earache, which I thought, so I said to her, I know you sound weird all the time, but you know, we're coming into now the new season.
[00:19:45] Janine Ep- Janine View: So it's probably the pollen in the flower. She goes, yeah, well, look at this. She took a spot, a little tiny dot of mozzarella. Okay. Picture [00:20:00] an eraser of a pencil. Okay. She put it in her mouth. She chewed it. She stuck her tongue out to show me how much she chewed it. So it was like mush. And I said, yeah, she goes, now watch.
[00:20:12] Janine Ep- Janine View: And she could hardly swallow it.
[00:20:14] Janine- Maya View: Oh my goodness.
[00:20:15] Janine Ep- Janine View: I said, she's not missing out, right? Yeah, the next day was Monday. So I said, I have to go to work, but you need to go to the doctor. So get your ass to Columbia because she was in Columbia first and go see what's going on. Cause that's not normal because I think it was allergies, you know, between the earache and nursing.
[00:20:38] Janine Ep- Janine View: It sounded like allergies to me.
[00:20:40] Janine- Maya View: Yep.
[00:20:41] Janine Ep- Janine View: So she, I went to work, she went off to the doctor and, um, my sister has a vet, had a very strange way. I'm dealing with it. Like, if she goes into church, she gets numb. She can't hear. She goes, I'm numb. [00:21:00] And when she hears like something from a doctor, she don't actually understand it because she shuts, shuts it off.
[00:21:06] Janine Ep- Janine View: And she becomes almost deaf. I can't explain it. She goes, I can't hear. So now I pick up my phone. I know it's her because I barely hear her. Her voice started to change. And I go, what's going on? She goes, I'm still at the doctor. She's going. And I'm going, Angel, what are you saying? Talk a little louder. But she couldn't talk louder.
[00:21:27] Janine Ep- Janine View: Her voice was starting to change. So I said, all right, put the doctor on. So she puts the doctor on, and I say, What is my sister saying? So he says to me, Your sister has throat cancer. Stage two. It's the size of a lemon, but it's not this way. It's this way.
[00:21:42] Janine- Maya View: This it's side, yeah. Sideways if you guys are listening. Wow.
[00:21:45] Janine Ep- Janine View: here. It wasn't up and down.
[00:21:48] Janine Ep- Janine View: It was this way.
[00:21:50] Janine- Maya View: Oh my God. How, how was she even functioning? Oh my God.
[00:21:53] Janine Ep- Janine View: She was filming, she was going in planes and just everything. He says, I'm [00:22:00] taking her by the hand. And I'm walking her across the street and she's going to get it right now to test to see what's going on. Said, okay, call me back. Call me back. Your sister, again, has stage two throat cancer. Okay. We need to get in there.
[00:22:18] Janine Ep- Janine View: We need to get the notes out. We've got to get in there. I said, okay, we're going to do it. And could we please wait for Easter to pass? He said, absolutely. She believes that this won't let it, you know, cause it's stage two. She can wait. P. S. She goes, what they call an eight hour surgery, because they're going to take the lymph nodes from here and from here, as well as the cancer
[00:22:46] Janine- Maya View: right. They, they've gotta get it all out. 
[00:22:49] Janine Ep- Janine View: Finally, she figured out, she, we um, go and see when her number's, she's in recovery. And they had this like board that you could see their number when they go to their room or whatever it was. So I ran [00:23:00] into that room, waited in there, and the doctor comes out.
[00:23:02] Janine Ep- Janine View: He goes, come here, I want to talk to you. So I said, okay, what's wrong? She says, listen to me. Your sister didn't have, your sister had this a long time. Did you ever notice, notice that she has earaches a lot? I said, yeah.
[00:23:20] Janine- Maya View: yes.
[00:23:20] Janine Ep- Janine View: Yeah, it was. He goes, I said, yeah, for the last year I'm treating her. He said, you mean, you know, she had an earache?
[00:23:27] Janine Ep- Janine View: I said, yeah. He said, that was the first sign of the cancer. I said, was it? He said, yeah. What happened was, cancer was like pushing against her ear, something with it in her ear that was making it hurt,
[00:23:42] Janine Ep- Janine View: he goes, that was your first sign. I got out all the nodes on this side of the system, but the surgery was so long.
[00:23:49] Janine Ep- Janine View: She has to come back and we have to get out this side.
[00:23:52] Janine- Maya View: Oh my gosh. Mm
[00:23:54] Janine Ep- Janine View: So she went out of home, went back, we got the other notes taken out. [00:24:00] She was okay. They didn't say anything. She was cancer free. So she went, I think she went in June to get these out because my youngest son was seven at the time. He was making his communion in May, but May she was doing marriage boot camp.
[00:24:18] Janine Ep- Janine View: And I said, you have to come to Ronnie's communion. But she was in California now, so she drove, she, she flew back, she came and, uh, they didn't want her to leave. They were, that was really against what they had to do because you're really not allowed to talk to anybody outside.
[00:24:38] Janine- Maya View: No, especially with, with the, that's what a lot of people who don't understand reality television, especially when you're doing something like a marriage, it's different than like a housewives or even mob wives where like you're filmed in your own environment when you do marriage boot camp or something like that, like you're in that environment for four, six, however many weeks they need it.
[00:24:57] Janine- Maya View: And. Your phone is off. Like you are cut off [00:25:00] from the world. 
[00:25:00] Janine Ep- Janine View: We got, I think, 30 or 40 minutes a week to talk to her while she was there. And, and, and I think it was, I think you're right, I think it was like four weeks.
[00:25:11] Janine- Maya View: It's four to six weeks typically for those types when you're in the environment.
[00:25:14] Janine Ep- Janine View: And then she was like, you know, cause she had to make a note for Neil. So she said, she must have said to the producer or whoever was there, I don't ever write my own stuff.
[00:25:23] Janine Ep- Janine View: You have to ask for my sister to give me the number. You have to give me a phone. And they're like, no, you're not supposed to call. And then I wrote it for her. I said, you ready? Write this. And I, you know, went and she wrote it. Thank God. But they had to give her the phone. How the fuck is she going to write it? Right? She was just beyond life. was beyond life. And I say to myself, the reason why she's in heaven and I know she's in heaven is because God needed her. God knows she finished her duty on this earth and she had to be in a better place because I feel she's in a better [00:26:00] place. Nobody could rob her or attack her or do anything to her anymore.
[00:26:05] Janine- Maya View: I relate to that too, Janine, cause I've gotten to that place as well. Um, and. It's, it's a journey to get there. I think, I don't think it's an easy thing to get there right away and be like, right. At first you're like, why did this happen? And I'm angry. Like for me, I was super angry at God, right? That's my, my, that's a whole other podcast episode, but I was very angry.
[00:26:25] Janine- Maya View: And now I'm much more in the place where you are. I'm like, you know what? My brother had 27 years on this planet. He touched so many people. He was a musician. He was a YouTuber. So he was like really into, you know, And I'm like, could he have done more? Sure, but it, it was his time, and I don't agree with how it was his time, as I'm sure you feel about Angela, but at the same point, as you do evolve and you move through the grief journey, you do get to a place, whether it's your faith that carries you through, whether it's the support of other people, whether it's therapy, however you get there,
[00:26:59] Janine Ep- Janine View: I taught [00:27:00] religion for eight years.
[00:27:01] Janine- Maya View: yeah, yeah, because you're Catholic, you're Catholic, right, Janine?
[00:27:04] Janine Ep- Janine View: Yes. And I, but I have to tell you, I strayed for a little bit. I was mad at God.
[00:27:11] Janine- Maya View: Me too.
[00:27:12] Janine Ep- Janine View: I was so mad at him. I was so mad. Why her? On my knees. Take me.
[00:27:18] Janine- Maya View: Mm hmm.
[00:27:19] Janine Ep- Janine View: Take me. I was begging him to take me. You know,
[00:27:23] Janine- Maya View: So bargaining was a big part of your journey. The, if you just take me instead of her, yeah, cause you know,
[00:27:28] Janine Ep- Janine View: I made sure.
[00:27:29] Janine- Maya View: we touched about this before we started recording, but you know, the stages of grief are a very funny thing and some people experience some and you know, and you experience it all over again, but for you, bargaining seems like it was a big one for you in your journey.
[00:27:41] Janine- Maya View: Like take me instead of her. Yeah,
[00:27:44] Janine Ep- Janine View: It was a big thing. I felt like she had so much more time. And you know, even though she's seen all her grandchildren except one. And you know, She adored them, especially [00:28:00] one. His name is Sal. She adored him. Um, because for 12 hours, when we had to go for chemo for 12 hours, I had to go out 12 hours, it was 12 months a week, 8 hours, she was talking about Sal.
[00:28:15] Janine Ep- Janine View: The baby.
[00:28:15] Janine- Maya View: you're like, okay, I get it.
[00:28:18] Janine Ep- Janine View: one point, because you know the cancer grew, it's in a lot of places,
[00:28:22] Janine- Maya View: well Janine take us back to that because so she had both of those surgeries
[00:28:27] Janine Ep- Janine View: Okay, so she had the surgeries.
[00:28:29] Janine- Maya View: said she was cancer free, but then it came back.
[00:28:32] Janine Ep- Janine View: Well, this is what happened.
[00:28:34] Janine- Maya View: And we're in 2015, right? We're in 2015. Yeah Mm hmm.
[00:28:38] Janine Ep- Janine View: July, I always rent a house down Point Pleasant. So it's about a Thursday, coming towards the end of the week, and I get a phone call. And who is it? My sister. I said, what are you doing?
[00:28:49] Janine Ep- Janine View: She goes, I have cancer. And I'm like, don't stop with me. Of course, you know, I thought she was goofing on me. I'm not in the mood, I'm having a good week, don't even go there. [00:29:00] She goes to me, I'm serious, and she's crying. And I'm like, where could you possibly have cancer? Where? You didn't even, she didn't get chemo.
[00:29:08] Janine Ep- Janine View: She didn't get radiation. She didn't get no friggin pill. She didn't get anything. So I said, where are you having cancer right now? So she goes to me in my lung, in my left lung. And I'm like, it can't be. So I go, okay, what are we doing? We're going to NYU. We found the doctor, great man, Dr. Abraham Shishoa. I still have his number.
[00:29:30] Janine Ep- Janine View: I still call him. We get there and sure enough, my sister has cancer in the lung. He says to me, we're going to go in and we're going to cut half of her lung out of her left lung. She's going to be all right because she has the right and she has the other part of the left. Oh, we got to get him out. So I said, okay, that was the other surgery. And she went for that surgery. I think it was August, that surgery.
[00:29:59] Janine Ep- Janine View: Cutting her lung out. [00:30:00] She went to NYU. They did it. She had, um, a very big tube in her lung to get everything out.
[00:30:08] Janine- Maya View: Mm hmm.
[00:30:09] Janine Ep- Janine View: hated it. She was screaming when I got there. And to her own, it was terrible. So, I said, okay. Now that they got the lung, they got this. Cancer free. Still no chemo. Still no radiation. No medic, medicine.
[00:30:25] Janine Ep- Janine View: Nothing. Zero the lung was stage four. I said, okay. She quit smoking. All of that. Okay, we're fine. We had a party in October in my backyard. We had part of the show was done. My wife's was done and we had a cancer free party. That was the beginning of October. Okay. Doctor told her every three months you ought to come here and we ought to PET scan you.
[00:30:52] Janine Ep- Janine View: And my sister was like on it. Serious. So December 8th, 2015 still was a [00:31:00] Monday. I had to go to work because I'm the Monday girl and she calls me. Now she went by herself and because she was okay, she was fine. She went by herself and she calls me up and she goes, have cancer.
[00:31:14] Janine Ep- Janine View: And I'm like, listen to me. I can't even think about this. Put the doctor on. Just put the doc, put him on speaker, tell him to get on speaker. And my son always walked down to my store from school. So it was about three o'clock in the afternoon. I let him in. I buzzed him in and I talked to the doctor and the doctor goes to me, listen to me.
[00:31:37] Janine Ep- Janine View: Your cystette is full of cancer. And I said, what do you mean? It's two months. She didn't even come in three months. She came in two months. You know, where is the cancer now? Where? She said there's 14 lesions in the right lung,
[00:31:55] Janine- Maya View: Oh my
[00:31:55] Janine Ep- Janine View: two on her adrenal glands. She's got something on the kidney. [00:32:00] Seven in her brain in her chest cavity here.
[00:32:03] Janine Ep- Janine View: One, two, three.
[00:32:04] Janine- Maya View: so it had spread that quickly Janine.
[00:32:08] Janine Ep- Janine View: I dropped to the floor. I start screaming my poor son. I, he was like lightning. He must've took my cell phone and ran in the back and pulled my, one of my daughters and my husband. And I said, Ron, shut the open sign off. And I laid on the floor, the tile floor, just laying there, screaming. I said, how can this be?
[00:32:32] Janine Ep- Janine View: This can't be. This cannot be, I just didn't understand it. I wanted to kill everybody in the hospital. I wanted to kill everybody. I can't explain the feeling that I got.
[00:32:41] Janine- Maya View: yeah
[00:32:42] Janine Ep- Janine View: the hell did you go from a cancer free party, okay, less than two months, okay, you're supposed to go in January for the, for the thing, you went December 8th.
[00:32:55] Janine Ep- Janine View: How the hell did this happen? How? So we had to go [00:33:00] over to Lenox Hill to meet, I found the brain one, plus there's two different, you know, you have the lung and you have to go different places.
[00:33:09] Janine- Maya View: right.
[00:33:11] Janine Ep- Janine View: So she was going to do Gamma Knife, which she did. So you have to go to get the halo, it's called, fitted for your head, so they can do Gamma Knife.
[00:33:21] Janine Ep- Janine View: We went, we went, we talked about everything. She needed to get an MRI. They scheduled her for a Sunday. We all went, we said we're gonna, me and my, when I say we all went, it's me, my husband, my kids, we, we went. And we'll go, and we'll have dinner in the city. Perfect. I can't get in the MRI machine, I can't get in it.
[00:33:41] Janine Ep- Janine View: I says, I'm gonna come with you, don't worry about it. You know you can't go in. But she didn't know. So I said, Angela, and I'm telling the guys behind that deck. Listen to me. I'm here.
[00:33:54] Janine Ep- Janine View: They said, yeah, she could stay. So I said, all right, bring me the jacket. Go ahead, get in. [00:34:00] They're getting me the jacket. Get in. You know what, I'll hold your foot. Let me hold your foot when you get in. Just so you know i'm still here Okay, I got the jacket on angela. I got the jacket on She goes. All right.
[00:34:11] Janine Ep- Janine View: I said do you feel it right? I'm right here. I'm holding your foot Okay, if you don't feel me that means i'm gonna sit on the floor. That's not what I told her I think that's what it was, but i'm gonna be in here. All right, the machine's gonna start now guys They said yeah, I said, okay So I just laid something on her toe And The machines are
[00:34:34] Janine- Maya View: They're so loud. Yes.
[00:34:36] Janine Ep- Janine View: Bang! She didn't know I left. So now I go in their room, the guy's room. I said, listen to me. Before you shut the machine, I have to literally be in there.
[00:34:48] Janine- Maya View: I need to sneak back in and hold her foot. Yeah.
[00:34:50] Janine Ep- Janine View: problem, they said. I said, thank you. So, um, we're there. I'm in the hallway watching hysterical crying. I had to [00:35:00] call one of my friends, Lisa.
[00:35:01] Janine Ep- Janine View: And I said, this can't be happening. I just can't be happening. Um, I feel like it's, um, it's a nightmare. I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do for her. I want to take her out of her house and I'm going to take her in my house Because I had a housekeeper and I said the housekeeper will take care of her while I'm at work And I don't want her to do anything and they said not to get stressed.
[00:35:23] Janine Ep- Janine View: They said not to babysit They said she shouldn't have noise when she's tired. I don't know what to do with her I have to take her home with me She would not do it though. She would not come home with me and make me do this So she says I really don't want to do chemo Now I said, Andrew, you have to do chemo.
[00:35:41] Janine Ep- Janine View: You have to do diamond knife. You have to do chemo. She won't hear it. In the interim, I thought ahead. I said, which I never asked my sister, like what she had in the bank, money wise, because it was her and my daughter on the bank account, you know? So to me, it didn't [00:36:00] matter. I don't care if she had a dollar, but I said to myself, I got to do this.
[00:36:07] Janine Ep- Janine View: Her grandson came home from school, clothes off, shower, clothes in the wash. You know what I mean?
[00:36:13] Janine- Maya View: Her, because her immune system was just completely shot from all of this, too, right? She could get anything. Yeah. Mm hmm.
[00:36:22] Janine Ep- Janine View: and she stood in her house. She couldn't walk to her bedroom. So she went in her basement, she was able to walk down and go in the basement. So, okay. We filmed Dr. Oz for three days. Now she got chemo the full, the 5th of January, the 12th of January, and the 19th of January.
[00:36:49] Janine- Maya View: How did you convince her to finally do chemo? Because she was super against it, Janine. 
[00:36:53] Janine Ep- Janine View: I was like, listen to me. You have two kids that need you and you have five grandchildren that need you.
[00:36:59] Janine Ep- Janine View: And what do [00:37:00] you want to do? Just leave me. I mean, stop thinking of yourself. I put it like that. Stop thinking of yourself. Let's just go to Italy. We'll go in a villa and that's the way I'll die. We're not going to Italy because you will get on a plane and you will not be able, you'll be dead by the time we get to Italy.
[00:37:21] Janine Ep- Janine View: Because the brain lesions, the altitude, would make them burst. For now, I call my lawyer and I say, I would like to go on Dr. Oz or I would like to go on Dr. Phil. He said to me, okay, no problem. He put his fingers out to both of them. They both wanted her. Dr. Phil was a little bit more money, but how are we getting to the health one? So she's like, you're going to get on the plan with me, right? This was January 13th. It was the premiere. of the next scene of Mob Wives, and she was sitting in the nail place, it was about 8. 30, and we had to go [00:38:00] outside to see her fans, because we always watch Mob Wives, in the bar. So I said, shut up, I'm not going to California, neither are you, because what's going to happen is I'm going to come back by myself.
[00:38:11] Janine Ep- Janine View: I can't do that. I don't have the strength for that, my nerves are shot, I can't do it. So you have to go for chemo. The end. The end. And basically, that's how I got it about,
[00:38:22] Janine- Maya View: You put your foot, your 5'1 little foot down.
[00:38:26] Janine Ep- Janine View: put it down because, you know, what my a week before that she called me at 4 a. m. Okay, crying that she couldn't breathe. And I ran her into the hospital in the city at 4 a. m. woke my husband up, woke my son up. I was there for hours, hours. Now we go to. The 26th we're doing ours. We did a 25, 26 and 27. Okay, three days.
[00:38:57] Janine Ep- Janine View: So first part of the time on the [00:39:00] 25th she goes in to see the doctor because you do three, three, and then you go see the doctor. So I'm sitting there, my husband's sitting there, my son, my son's sitting there, she gets on the table and the doctor says to her, So Angela has anything changed? Are you okay?
[00:39:19] Janine Ep- Janine View: How are you doing? She goes, I'm fine. I said, what did you just say? She said, I'm fine. Why? I said, listen to me. We speak 30 or 40 times a day. Okay. You come to my house. I go to your house. Have you not met me? I'm like really mad now. I said, you walked up the steps the other day. There was only five. You couldn't breathe. Did you forget that?
[00:39:47] Janine Ep- Janine View: Tell him what else. What? Tell him what? I can't believe you're ratting me out. This is what she's talking about. Now we're fighting in the doctor's office. How come you don't fight? Don't your legs hurt? [00:40:00] Aren't you in pain? That's what you told me. We were on the phone. You couldn't breathe. Okay, now you're telling me you're fine?
[00:40:08] Janine Ep- Janine View: You're telling me that you're fine? So he put the pulse ox. He said, Angela, walk around the thing. She couldn't even walk when she came back. You know what her pulse ox was? 75
[00:40:23] Janine Ep- Janine View: and it's supposed to be close to 95. So I said, do you realize what the hell you're doing? He goes, okay, stop fighting. She's got to go for a test downstairs and MRI right now or cat scan.
[00:40:36] Janine Ep- Janine View: She goes, now that I have to go downstairs, you're coming with me. No problem. I got in the elevator, I went. I stood right in the room, waited for her to get out. 20 minutes later, she comes out, you go upstairs. Now, what's good about those hospitals is, as soon as it's done, it goes right to the computer of the doctor. So what happened was, this, this [00:41:00] tumor, after three damn chemos, grew. And it flopped. It was so heavy. That it flopped on the right
[00:41:11] Janine- Maya View: So this was the one in her lung, right? Her right lung. Oh
[00:41:13] Janine Ep- Janine View: No, this one, in her breast cavity,
[00:41:16] Janine- Maya View: Oh my gosh.
[00:41:17] Janine Ep- Janine View: on the lung. Now she
[00:41:19] Janine- Maya View: lungs being compressed, which is why she's having the trouble breathing. Oh my gosh.
[00:41:24] Janine Ep- Janine View: don't forget, forget about the lesions in the lung. She had half of this one, and now it's leaning on part of this one, the right.
[00:41:32] Janine Ep- Janine View: He goes, Janine, I gotta, she's gotta go into surgery. I'm like, what do you mean? He goes, I gotta put a stent in, because I gotta pick that, that up. She'll, she'll die. You're going, you know, what time is the surgery? He says, well, I'll make it for her tomorrow morning. I said, okay, but listen, she's got to stay in this hospital tonight.
[00:41:52] Janine Ep- Janine View: And they put us in a private room, and a lot of people are told to leave, and we played her favorite music. [00:42:00] I had a brother that had to come from, um, Florida, so he came later on in the night. We were there for 13 hours.
[00:42:08] Janine Ep- Janine View: So I took my boots off, I took my sweater off, and I just laid him down on the floor. I didn't care who was there. I didn't care. I would have did anything.
[00:42:19] Janine- Maya View: Mm hmm.
[00:42:20] Janine Ep- Janine View: So they had to change her a few times and I said no to the nurses. I said, maybe my niece wants to change her. So my niece said no. And I said, well, it's me and the nurses then.
[00:42:32] Janine Ep- Janine View: Because I'm not letting anybody wipe up like it. I'm going to wipe it myself. And I did. Three times, because I know that's what she would want. She wouldn't want anybody to see that, you know what I'm saying? I've seen it a thousand times. I've seen it a thousand times,
[00:42:48] Janine- Maya View: You're sisters.
[00:42:50] Janine Ep- Janine View: You know, and that's just how it was with us.
[00:42:53] Janine Ep- Janine View: I thought that when I lost my mother, that I was going to really die. But my son, [00:43:00] my oldest son was only six months old, so they kept throwing him in front of me. But losing my mother was a shock, because she just had a brain aneurysm. This was something that I was dealing with for months and
[00:43:16] Janine- Maya View: grief, right? It was like constant calls and things you were having to do, so it is very challenging.
[00:43:23] Janine Ep- Janine View: I was trying to do so many things at once, you know, and the only thing that I was really trying, I felt like I did everything and I did nothing. I can't explain it. Like I have to save her life. Why is, and I'm looking at her trying to read and I'm saying, if maybe if I blow into her mouth, she could read that.
[00:43:47] Janine Ep- Janine View: I didn't know what I was saying anymore. I did it.
[00:43:51] Janine- Maya View: We kind of lose our mind. 
[00:43:52] Janine Ep- Janine View: Then, you know, I played her favorite song. I sang it to her. And all the while everybody was telling her, [00:44:00] you know, go, we're gonna be okay. It didn't matter. I wouldn't say it. So then her daughter said to me, Jay, please, just say it.
[00:44:07] Janine Ep- Janine View: She'll listen to you. And I'm like, I can't. I just can't say it to her. I don't want her to go. So between hour 12 and 13, I'm looking at everybody and everybody's like half dead. Her son gets in the car and goes, I'm going to go take a shower. I said, okay. So, I'm just, you know, patting her. I see a little tear come out of her eye.
[00:44:28] Janine Ep- Janine View: I still have the tissue on my wound. And I go, why is she crying? And I pushed it, like, you know, onto the tissue. And I said, don't cry. We're gonna be okay, I said. You can go home to Mommy and Daddy now. You can go.
[00:44:45] Janine- Maya View: Yeah.
[00:44:46] Janine Ep- Janine View: And she went. She
[00:44:47] Janine- Maya View: She was waiting for you. She was waiting for you, Janine. Yeah.
[00:44:52] Janine Ep- Janine View: I swear, I wish I could do it over again. Because I would never make her leave. I tried so hard to save her, and she was just so special,
[00:44:59] Janine- Maya View: [00:45:00] Yeah.
[00:45:00] Janine Ep- Janine View: When I go see her in the wake, I promised her still that I wouldn't leave her alone. So one day, we're gonna crank her coffin down, and He said, I have to watch it because she told me to. They begged me to leave. Everybody left and they let me stay.
[00:45:17] Janine- Maya View: Yeah,
[00:45:18] Janine Ep- Janine View: They let me stay and watch her until the very end.
[00:45:20] Janine- Maya View: It's a testament to your connection. You know, you wanted to be with her through all of it. And I think it's also very reflective of your journey With the cancer and all of the surgeries too. She always wanted you there. So You felt this need to be with her all the way through right? Yeah,
[00:45:42] Janine Ep- Janine View: Because she was up to her IV, so the nurse would say, if you take her to the bathroom, just take, you know, all the IV. And they used to take her to the bathroom. And she used to say to me, I'm so happy you came with me. But I used to think, who else is going to come? I'm always going to come,
[00:45:56] Janine- Maya View: yeah,
[00:45:57] Janine Ep- Janine View: such a part of me. I mean, and, and like you [00:46:00] said before, you love your other sisters. And I do love my other siblings, but she was like my twin almost, you know? And every year, every year on her birthday, I get something like that. Like she used to pencil in her, her beauty MI got my tattooed
[00:46:20] Janine- Maya View: you've got a tattoo beauty mark. I love it. Yeah.
[00:46:22] Janine Ep- Janine View: See, this is her handwriting, and
[00:46:25] Janine- Maya View: Yes. I noticed that
[00:46:27] Janine Ep- Janine View: you see what that little mark is right there? She used to always make a mistake on her spelling, so she used to put love you every much, and cross out the E, right? So when I went to the tattoo, they said we could take the E out. I'm like, excuse me? No,
[00:46:46] Janine- Maya View: you're like that's not the point
[00:46:48] Janine Ep- Janine View: every one of my cards. This isn't every one of my cards.
[00:46:51] Janine Ep- Janine View: That crossed out E. This isn't my cards. 
[00:46:55] Janine- Maya View: I think that's beautiful that you do that. I mean, we talk about that on the show all the time and in our [00:47:00] groups and different things we do, Janine, is how can we honor them? And , I have two memorial tattoos for my brother, so I'm with you. I got his ashes tattooed on my body.
[00:47:08] Janine- Maya View: That's how, like, gnarly. Yeah. Yeah. You can do that. You have to go to somebody who's certified and then they take the ashes, they mix it with the dye and they, I did that in my brother was murdered in November, late November, two days, three days before Thanksgiving. And then first week of December, I went and got the tattoo.
[00:47:29] Janine- Maya View: I adopted a dog for him, like so many different things that I talk about in my story. But those were so cathartic and healing for me because it makes me feel connected to him. To this day, which is why I, I share all of your stories and I'm continuing to do this because it makes me feel like he's still with me and I know that he is because I have my, you know, my faith and my connection now, but I'm sure you feel the same way because you've, you've written like, bring us up to speed now because you've [00:48:00] written a book.
[00:48:01] Janine Ep- Janine View: I thought, my doctor did, but I thought, I had Alzheimer's and I was afraid to get it. So I said, I think I'm cracking up. That's what I said. I think I'm cracking up. And if I get Alzheimer's, that means I'm going to forget everything. So she said to me, go get a black and white notebook and write in the notebook, all of your memories.
[00:48:20] Janine Ep- Janine View: This way, if you go off, she knew I didn't have Alzheimer's.
[00:48:24] Janine- Maya View: She knew you were grieving. Let's be honest, grieving makes you feel like you're crazy. Yeah,
[00:48:28] Janine Ep- Janine View: crazy. So she said to me, and write down all your memories. This one, when you have the house, I'm going to send one for reading to you. I said, Oh, that's a
[00:48:36] Janine- Maya View: it is.
[00:48:37] Janine Ep- Janine View: one of my friends happens to be a St. John's graduate for journalism and for writing and all that. So I was writing and writing.
[00:48:49] Janine Ep- Janine View: And every time I wrote, I would send it to her and I would write and write. And then she. Was like, this is going to be a really great book. [00:49:00] And I was like, what? That's only for me. And she was like, no, let's put it in chronological order. Let's tell the people about your sister. Let's let them know.
[00:49:14] Janine Ep- Janine View: This book is about Angela before TV, you know, and her,
[00:49:19] Janine- Maya View: Before, before Big Ang, this is Angela.
[00:49:22] Janine Ep- Janine View: that's why I put it, Angela. And then I did this because her name has the name, the word angel on it.
[00:49:28] Janine- Maya View: Angel. I know I love that. So, for those of you listening, her book is Angela, but in parentheses is the A at the end, so it's actually Angel. I love that. I think that's beautiful.
[00:49:37] Janine Ep- Janine View: Right. So before this, I did a cookbook.
[00:49:42] Janine- Maya View: Yes, so let's bring some levity into this before we wrap it up, Janine. Tell us about your, tell us about your cookbook, because it sounds like Angela also loved your food, so tell us about your food.
[00:49:51] Janine Ep- Janine View: Well, we're all good cooks in my family.
[00:49:55] Janine- Maya View: But, are you the best? Because you've got a cookbook, so
[00:49:58] Janine Ep- Janine View: What happened was, I'm going to tell [00:50:00] you. Angela has a book. It's called Bitter is Better. And when her book launch came, naturally we were there and all the big, big shots of that VH1 were there and them, a lot of them were women. 
[00:50:13] Janine- Maya View: So is that how the whole idea of you doing a cookbook, that's how all of this came to light?
[00:50:18] Janine Ep- Janine View: When I went into the house of,, it's called a little, uh, how do you say it? Waheeda Clark House to do this book. She had found out I was the meatball queen and made me do a cookbook.
[00:50:30] Janine- Maya View: So she wanted you to do the cookbook first and then you came out with the Angela book, yes.
[00:50:36] Janine Ep- Janine View: this book, don't a cookbook. was extremely hard, especially with tanking when we don't measure. So everything had to be precise. I had my daughter or anybody on the other side watching me how much I put in because we don't measure. And it took a lot. Like
[00:50:52] Janine- Maya View: It's, it's all just right up here and right in the hand. Yep. Uh
[00:50:56] Janine Ep- Janine View: done like that. Like I had to get all limbs up.
[00:50:59] Janine Ep- Janine View: I had my [00:51:00] hands on and I had to make all these certain meals. They needed it. They also needed it for pictures now. So I did it and I winded up. naming every recipe after somebody in my family.
[00:51:14] Janine- Maya View: I love that.
[00:51:15] Janine Ep- Janine View: So I made it a little different. That's how it went after I did the, um, that with her, I didn't really like the contract, so I self published.
[00:51:27] Janine- Maya View: Good for you. Yeah. Good for you. Well, Janine, thank you so, thank you so much for, for sharing. We could do like a whole other episode, Janine. 
[00:51:36] Janine- Maya View: Yes. We could talk for hours. I just adore you. I just, thank you so much. Thank you for sharing. Your heart with us being so open. Thank you for supporting the show and sharing.
[00:51:47] Janine- Maya View: Not, not just big Ange though with us, you shared Angela with us, which I think is so important. Yeah.
[00:51:54] Janine Ep- Janine View: And also if you really need to talk to somebody and you're out [00:52:00] there and you're struggling. You could always look at me, my Instagram, you could always ask me questions,
[00:52:07] Janine Ep- Janine View: At Janine DeTorre. That's it. So easy.
[00:52:11] Janine- Maya View: So easy.
[00:52:12] Janine Ep- Janine View: I'm on Facebook. I have a lot of accounts on Facebook, so you can go there or you can get the book, read it, call me,
[00:52:20] Janine- Maya View: thank you, Janine. We're gonna tag Janine in the, in the notes as well and you guys can connect with her. I'm a testament to it. I can tell you she will message you back. She's a doll. So Janine, so much love to you. Thank you so much for being here. 
[00:52:32] Mhm.