Diana Loses Tyler To Asthma

[00:00:00] Mhm.
[00:00:10] Diana Hunter Ep- Maya View: Hey guys, welcome back to the Surviving Siblings podcast. Today I have another surviving sibling with me. Her name is Diana Hunter. Diana, welcome to the show.
[00:00:20] Diana Hunter Ep- Diana View: Thank you. I'm excited to be here.
[00:00:23] Diana Hunter Ep- Maya View: I'm really excited to have you here too, but it's always bittersweet. Every single guest that comes on the show. Um, but I am excited to tell your story for many, many reasons, Diana. You lost your brother, Tyler, back in 2010. But what's interesting about your story, I connect with everybody in different ways, but your brother was 27.
[00:00:45] Diana Hunter Ep- Maya View: So it was mine, and your brother was an asthmatic. So, I connect with that personally, too, and it's just so interesting. Every episode, I connect with a sibling in different ways, different levels, even though [00:01:00] we lose our siblings in different ways. So, Diana, tell us a little bit about you and Tyler and your family dynamic.
[00:01:07] Diana Hunter Ep- Maya View: Kind of take us back and tell us about that.
[00:01:10] Diana Hunter Ep- Diana View: So we grew up, or at least part of my childhood, in Montana, and my three younger brothers, I'm the oldest, I have one brother that's three years younger than me, and then Tyler was 10 years younger, and then I have a brother 12 years younger. So they were all three born in Montana, um, and we left there when Tyler was about two.
[00:01:31] Diana Hunter Ep- Diana View: Mom and dad were married, but they did not get divorced until You know, much later on, but, um, so until the time of two, we lived in Montana. Tyler did not have any health issues, actually, um, at that time. We did not notice anything until we moved from Montana to California. Um, And he was two and I think David was like three or four months old and we made that drive down to California and within days of getting there, Tyler [00:02:00] had his first asthma attack, which was totally foreign to us.
[00:02:04] Diana Hunter Ep- Diana View: Like, we'd never seen anything like that. And he ended up in the hospital. Um, And this was way back in those days when they had like the bubbles, they kind of like put them in to help them breathe. And I remember he was only like two, two and a half and he would call and he called me Nana. Nana, come get me out of here.
[00:02:26] Diana Hunter Ep- Diana View: Get the keys to the car. Come and get me and get me out of here. And that was the start. After, you know, after that where he started having more of the asthma attacks, we found out he was very allergic to peanuts. So he had a couple episodes with peanuts, and it just went from there. We also found out later that he was allergic to horses, so I don't know how the whole Montana thing would have gone and we stayed there because we lived on a ranch.
[00:02:54] Diana Hunter Ep- Diana View: But, um, that was the start of everything when we moved back to California. With his, [00:03:00] you know, allergies and over the years he had consistent problems with it in and out of the emergency rooms. And it just became 1 of those things. Tyler always had his inhaler with him. He, you know, always dealt with asthma and he was the only 1 out of the 4 of us that had those issues.
[00:03:18] Diana Hunter Ep- Diana View: So. Growing up, being the four of us, me and my brother, that was three years younger than me, were quite a bit closer than the two younger ones, because there was such a difference there in the age, but I also remember those two younger boys, Tyler and David,
[00:03:37] Diana Hunter Ep- Maya View: go.
[00:03:38] Diana Hunter Ep- Diana View: they came home from the hospital.
[00:03:40] Diana Hunter Ep- Diana View: So you kind of had, I don't want to say necessarily the mother, but in a way more of a mother type relationship with them. Um, so it was a little bit different. Um, but the rest of our childhood was, you know, normal sibling, little brother, um, you know, [00:04:00] always wanted to be up in his sister's business and that kind of stuff.
[00:04:04] Diana Hunter Ep- Diana View: Um, And we still maintain a really good and close relationship, even after I moved out of the home. I got married when I was 20. So I was worried about staying close to the two younger ones, but they ended up moving from California to Oregon. So they were close to me. And so we were able to maintain that close relationship.
[00:04:26] Diana Hunter Ep- Diana View: And when you look at the four of us, there was me, and there's Tyler, and we definitely have the more vocal. Um, We're going to give you our opinions. People either love us or hate us, and we don't care. That's always kind of been the way we have been. And my other two brothers are more the quiet, reserved, won't give their opinion on a whole lot of things.
[00:04:52] Diana Hunter Ep- Diana View: So Tyler and I got along really well because we both have that same, you know, outgoing Take us as we are [00:05:00] attitude, not as, I guess, sensitive about things. Exactly,
[00:05:08] Diana Hunter Ep- Maya View: I'm the oldest as well, so I connect with you and I know what it's like to have a significant age gap as well because there's like a clump of us. There's like the three of us. And then my youngest sister is 10 years younger than me and you're right, it's, it's a different relationship when you have that age gap.
[00:05:26] Diana Hunter Ep- Maya View: There's so many beautiful things to it, but there's also those natural fears that come up. Like you got married, you moved away, you go to college, or you go start a job, or you, you know, and so you think, Oh gosh, like they're still at home under parent's care. Like it's a totally different life experience, but it is interesting when you have similar personalities because I connect with that as well.
[00:05:49] Diana Hunter Ep- Maya View: My brother and I had, you know, very similar personalities. He was more extreme than I was with the outspoken, give your opinion. And I do find that my two other sisters, [00:06:00] they're more alike. So again, one of four, I totally connect with that. It's interesting how the different personalities pop up. But, um, It's one of the reasons I'm on here telling your stories and my brother's story because he was just so extroverted and so opinionated and I am, but wow, he gave me a run for my money on that.
[00:06:20] Diana Hunter Ep- Maya View: So it's like, I feel like this is a part of, you know, a love letter and honor to him. And I feel like that's why you're here too today. Yeah. Yeah. But it's, it's interesting to watch it. And as you have a bigger family, you know, four's big these days, that's a bigger family. And There are different dynamics, but they're different things that you connect with.
[00:06:38] Diana Hunter Ep- Maya View: So I love that you and Tyler had that in, had that in common. And I think it's interesting though, that all of these health things came up for him. And what was that like for him to, cause I, again, I connect with this too, but what was that like to kind of grow up dealing with, with all of this? Was this just something he [00:07:00] was accepted and it was something he was used to, or was this kind of a constant struggle for him?
[00:07:06] Diana Hunter Ep- Diana View: He was used to it in the respect that he knew there was nothing he could do about it. Um, was he kind of disappointed and maybe kind of irritated that it limited some of the things that he could do? Definitely. Um, our family is a big military family. My, my dad was in the military, my grandfather, my brother spent 20 years in the military.
[00:07:28] Diana Hunter Ep- Diana View: Tyler would have loved to have gone in the military. But with the asthma, it was not something he could do. So there were a lot of things like that, that he just felt it really limited, you know, what he was able to do. When it came to sports, he loved playing golf. That was one thing he could do. Um, but it limited a lot of other things.
[00:07:50] Diana Hunter Ep- Diana View: Um, he wasn't happy about the horse thing. He would have loved to ride horses. He learned to live with it, but he definitely wasn't happy with all of it, but he also [00:08:00] accepted, you know, this is what it is. So,
[00:08:03] Diana Hunter Ep- Maya View: Yeah. Yeah. I, I can relate. I'm sure that would have been very difficult. I mean, also you guys living in Montana for a short time too. I love how you said, I don't know how that would have panned out. Yeah. It's like horse country for sure.
[00:08:16] Diana Hunter Ep- Diana View: exactly, exactly. And he always wanted to go back to Montana, but he came anywhere near a horse and it was just, it was, it was over. His eyes were swelling up and sneezing and, you know, it wasn't, wasn't a good thing, but he would have loved Montana had we stayed there. Um. But it was a good thing we did end up moving for him and health wise it ended up being better.
[00:08:39] Diana Hunter Ep- Maya View: Yeah, absolutely. So tell us a little bit about you, like as he was 27 when he passed, but tell us a little bit about his life as an adult. So he's, you know, in your dynamic and tell us what was going on after he left home. Tell us a little bit about what he was up to.
[00:08:57] Diana Hunter Ep- Diana View: Okay. Well, yeah, [00:09:00] complicated. 27, he was divorced. Um, his ex wife, Whitney, who I actually still consider my sister in law, is just amazing. And they ended up getting divorced right after she gave birth to my nephew, Jack. Uh, so he did have a son. Uh, one of the other things my brother struggled with, and that, A lot of us, especially the siblings, did not realize how serious it was because he was an alcoholic.
[00:09:27] Diana Hunter Ep- Diana View: And so it did affect him being able to hold a job, being able to provide for his son. It caused their divorce. Um, so it caused a lot, a lot of issues. Um, in fact, just a year prior to his death, he had, Come out to Florida because I had moved to Florida prior to that. So he had come out here and he wanted to Look into a golfing school in Orlando, not that he would ever leave Oregon and leave Jack But he wanted to come out here and do that He [00:10:00] was actually finally for the first time starting to get things together He hadn't totally a hundred percent given up drinking at that point, but things were getting there and he was willing to make changes, you know, he had court cases pending, he had a DUI, but he also knew he had a son who was five years, four years old at the time he'd come out here.
[00:10:24] Diana Hunter Ep- Diana View: Um, so he knew he needed to make changes. So that he could be there and be the father that Jack deserved. Um, it is kind of interesting to me as you saw him make those changes in just the year before he passed away. Because you want to see him change, you want to see him do good, and then it starts, everything starts to change, and then we ended up where we ended up.
[00:10:48] Diana Hunter Ep- Diana View: Um, so he has struggled for a long time with being an alcoholic. That was his way to deal with a lot of the family drama, the family issues. Um, there [00:11:00] was a lot of drama with us siblings, unfortunately.
[00:11:03] Diana Hunter Ep- Maya View: Uh,
[00:11:04] Diana Hunter Ep- Diana View: The time that Tyler passed away, me and Tyler were speaking. We had never not spoken. We had always maintained communication.
[00:11:13] Diana Hunter Ep- Diana View: Um, but none of the other siblings were talking. Again, me and Tyler spoke and then everybody else was just closed off to everybody. Um, the month prior to Tyler's asthma attack and him passing away, We had tried to fix things and my last conversation actually with Tyler the month before he died Asked me, you know, how am I supposed to fix things with my brother if he won't talk to me and Tyler had told me He said don't worry about it.
[00:11:45] Diana Hunter Ep- Diana View: Let everybody calm down I promise you this will all work out. And I thought, all right, wise one, because he always thought he was smarter than everybody else, too. And actually, I think he probably was. But, so we'd had [00:12:00] our little go around for, for quite a while with the siblings, trying to figure out how to fix the relationship.
[00:12:06] Diana Hunter Ep- Diana View: Um, and like I said, it all come to a head about a month before he had passed away. So I guess we can get into how all that the last time I had talked to him was that conversation that we had about the sibling, you know, situation.
[00:12:22] Diana Hunter Ep- Maya View: Yeah, Diana, and I'm finding this so interesting because, well, first of all, all of you guys that listen, our siblings out there, our supporters out there, a lot of people listen to the show, message me, talk about how the family dynamic shifts so much with the loss. So, of course, we're going to talk about what happened after.
[00:12:42] Diana Hunter Ep- Maya View: But, um, A lot of people will relate to the fact that things were not perfect, right, in your family dynamic going into it. So it's going to be quite interesting to discuss kind of what shifted afterwards and what happened for Hugh. And personally, I connect with that as well. Things were not rosy perfect before and they're [00:13:00] they're Not afterwards either, but what I think is so interesting about your conversation with Tyler is he almost had this kind of like, I don't know, call it sage advice, call it, you know, insight.
[00:13:12] Diana Hunter Ep- Maya View: It's very, I mean, do you find that almost a little eerie when you look back on it? You're like, how did he kind of know things might shift? But isn't that, I mean, how do you feel when you kind of reflect back on that? I think that's interesting in your story already.
[00:13:28] Diana Hunter Ep- Diana View: A little mad at him sometimes
[00:13:30] Diana Hunter Ep- Maya View: Yeah.
[00:13:31] Diana Hunter Ep- Diana View: one of the last text messages was him saying, I promised everything will work out. Everything will be fine. And I'm just like, how? Like, I don't, I don't see this working out. Um, because at the time, David, my youngest brother, was living with me in Florida. And him and Tyler didn't talk.
[00:13:47] Diana Hunter Ep- Diana View: And him and Grant didn't talk. And so, like, I just did not see things getting any better. Now, after seeing how everything happened, wow, you know, maybe he is smarter than everybody else like he thinks he is [00:14:00] because he obviously knew something that we didn't. But
[00:14:05] Diana Hunter Ep- Maya View: Which is, which is fascinating and I can understand that too, you know, and that's why I wanted to ask you that because it's okay to have, and I think we both wish we would have known, it's okay to be angry at things. It's okay to be sad about things. It's okay to be like, Oh my gosh, I wish I would have done this or all of those emotions you didn't know this was going to happen, right?
[00:14:26] Diana Hunter Ep- Maya View: And I, I do think that conversation is interesting. So that's an interesting dynamic that was happening to Diana. So you had your youngest with you at your, your home. Wow. So it was Tyler even able to visit cause they weren't, they weren't connecting, right? So,
[00:14:45] Diana Hunter Ep- Diana View: yeah, Tyler had visited a year prior and David was not living with me yet. And we were kind of waiting to see if Tyler was going to come back out to Florida and live here. Well, when he decided, you know, Tyler decided he didn't want to come to Florida, you know, or at least right now, [00:15:00] David was like, well, fine, I'm going.
[00:15:02] Diana Hunter Ep- Diana View: They both lived with my dad at the time, but weren't speaking. So it wasn't making things easy, you know, for my dad either. So we had my youngest brother come out. Um, so he was living with me at the time. That everything happened, you know, and, and his biggest regret, obviously, in this whole thing is that he did not fix things before Tyler had his fetal asthma attack, you know, and that's been hard on my other brother as well, that those things were not fixed prior.
[00:15:34] Diana Hunter Ep- Maya View: which again is something that I hear about all the time and personally in my own family dynamic and those of you who listen and are listening, struggle with that all the time, right? It's, you know, I wish I would have said this. I wish I, what if I did this or what if I spoke? There's so many what ifs and it's really difficult, especially with a sudden loss like yours.
[00:15:55] Diana Hunter Ep- Maya View: We just understand. We know that there's always those unanswered questions or [00:16:00] what ifs. And so tell us a little bit about, so you've got this interesting family dynamic and you're kind of like, you're kind of like second mom there, Diana. Like, you know, like they're living with you. They're visiting you.
[00:16:14] Diana Hunter Ep- Maya View: I mean, it's like, you're, you really are wearing second mom hat. If not mom hat, it's, I mean, that's the dynamic I'm getting from this. Um, Right,
[00:16:32] Diana Hunter Ep- Diana View: Um, that's always been my relationship with them. And especially the 2 younger ones, you know, so if Tyler wanted to come to Florida, come to Florida, you know, you can come live here.
[00:16:44] Diana Hunter Ep- Diana View: Yeah, that has always been that dynamic with them and still is.
[00:16:48] Diana Hunter Ep- Maya View: yeah, and I can relate to that too. So, walk us through What happened with Tyler? So he is 27. He [00:17:00] is, I love that you have a beautiful relationship with his ex wife. I think that's amazing. Um, and again, we, we hear all the time from people that that's not what happens right after, especially after a loss too.
[00:17:11] Diana Hunter Ep- Maya View: And, um, Tyler having a surviving child, it's really important, and so I'm, I'm so happy, and I can't wait to talk about that, that you, there's, there's light sometimes in the darkness, right? And I, I find that that's probably a little bit of light for you. So, he's struggling, oh, let me go back to this really quick, Diana, before we get into the actual day when this happened, but, Because, again, so many of us have siblings or have personally struggled with alcoholism, I mean, it's so prevalent, right?
[00:17:43] Diana Hunter Ep- Maya View: And I, again, another thing I relate to, so many people listening, I'm sure, relate to this as well. But I find it interesting, too, in your story that Tyler really kind of hid this from you guys. Like, he seems like he was somewhat functioning. I know you mentioned that he got a DUI and that [00:18:00] he, Struggled with a job, but it was surprising for you that he was struggling as much as he was.
[00:18:07] Diana Hunter Ep- Diana View: Yeah, we just thought he was a jerk sometimes and that was just his personality. So, I didn't really connect that it was the alcohol all the time because he can have a very strong personality. And I think the time that I really, really picked up on it, um, Was I, my second husband and I had just gotten married, so I flew out to Oregon, um, so that my family could meet him and Tyler comes in and you could tell right off the bat he was drunk, um, and he started talking about how much he hates law enforcement.
[00:18:41] Diana Hunter Ep- Diana View: Well, my husband and I are in law enforcement. And I told my husband, I said, just, he's drunk, just sit here, just listen, just take it. And that was probably the first time I really realized he's got a problem. You know, because yeah, he can be a jerk sometimes, but this is a little bit [00:19:00] much for him. And you know, my dad was like, he's been drinking.
[00:19:04] Diana Hunter Ep- Diana View: And, and being away for a few years and not seeing him on a daily basis, I did not realize how bad it had gotten until that visit.
[00:19:15] Diana Hunter Ep- Maya View: I think all of us who have someone in our lives who struggles with alcohol or drugs, right? We all know that moment when we're like, Whoa, especially you made a great point when you step back for a little while and then you re enter an environment in which they're, they're using or they're struggling, it's like, whoa, because you, your, your reference point is just so different because you've been away from it.
[00:19:38] Diana Hunter Ep- Diana View: Yep, that was my wake up to, okay, this is, you know, worse than what I thought it was, you know.
[00:19:46] Diana Hunter Ep- Maya View: Yeah. And then you mentioned to Diana that because of Jack and because of his life and the way it had been going, he was kind of getting back on the straight and narrow and getting, like, ship shaping, getting it back together, [00:20:00] and then he has this asthma attack. So, I'm with you. Like, it's heartbreaking, and I've had other stories where this, you know, siblings were hopeful, they felt like their sibling was getting right on the right track again, and then something happens.
[00:20:18] Diana Hunter Ep- Maya View: And so I'm curious to hear about this part of the story. The story. So, again, he's on the right track, getting his life back together, Jack's an inspiration for him. What happens?
[00:20:30] Diana Hunter Ep- Diana View: Yeah, he was doing really good, and I remember talking to my mom like a few weeks prior that he was spending more time with Jack. You know, the alcoholism, he never, he wouldn't make Jack his priority. Um, So he was making that a priority to be sober, to be around Jack. And, you know, and I know everybody's got their opinions when it comes to marijuana, but he had even backed off of that.
[00:20:56] Diana Hunter Ep- Diana View: Um, he was working with the court system. He was [00:21:00] taking medication, you know, the, um, and abuse that they give them. So if they do drink, it makes them sick, like, but he was participating in all of that. And he lived with my dad at the time, but. The night before his asthma attack, he had Jack and Jack was staying the night with him at my mom's house.
[00:21:20] Diana Hunter Ep- Diana View: So they were both there at my mom's house and they'd, you know, gone out to dinner and all of that. And my mom even said like, he was just great with Jack. Um, wasn't drinking. It was just a kind of a different him. Like my mom could see that things were starting to change with him. So, it was kind of a shock the way, you know, everything happened.
[00:21:44] Diana Hunter Ep- Diana View: So, Tyler and Jack stayed the night at my mom's house. Not a big deal. Tyler got up really early, like about 6 o'clock in the morning, and my mom heard him get up and go to the bathroom. And a few minutes later, she heard him calling, saying, hey [00:22:00] mom. I need you. So she goes to the bathroom and he's like, you need to call 911 and you could tell he was having a hard time breathing.
[00:22:08] Diana Hunter Ep- Diana View: He had his inhaler in his hand,
[00:22:11] Diana Hunter Ep- Maya View: to their previous
[00:22:12] Diana Hunter Ep- Diana View: but years of experience had taught him. This just was not.
[00:22:15] Diana Hunter Ep- Maya View: We just have about three minutes. And I would
[00:22:18] Diana Hunter Ep- Diana View: So my mom, in order to get good cell phone service, especially for 911, she had to step outside of her apartment. So she stepped outside to make the phone call and she could hear him hit the bathroom floor. So she knew he had passed out.
[00:22:32] Diana Hunter Ep- Diana View: And I went back and got all the medical records and everything because I had to know the timelines for everything. It did not take, you know, EMS that long to get there. Maybe, you know, six or seven minutes or something. And they get there, they get him out of the bathroom, and he was in cardiac arrest at that time.
[00:22:52] Diana Hunter Ep- Diana View: So they pull him out to the living room and that's when they notice that Jack is still asleep on the couch. Or. We thought he was [00:23:00] asleep. We thought he was asleep for years. They had picked him up and moved him into my mom's room while they're starting CPR on my brother. Um, it wasn't until many years later that we found out that Jack was not totally asleep, but he was only five.
[00:23:16] Diana Hunter Ep- Diana View: So we don't know how much he really understood of what was going on, but he knew it wasn't good. He knew it was bad enough. He needed to pretend like he was asleep through the whole thing. Um, you It took them about 20 minutes to get Tyler's heart going again. Uh, and then, you know, transport him to the hospital.
[00:23:37] Diana Hunter Ep- Diana View: So this is all going on, you know, in Oregon. And I'm here in Florida, getting up on a Sunday morning, go to church with the family, uh, And we're sitting in church. I remember, for some reason, looked at my cell phone and there must have been 10 missed calls from my mother. Um, so I knew, okay, this isn't good.
[00:23:59] Diana Hunter Ep- Diana View: She doesn't call [00:24:00] that often. And so I got up and I walked out and I called her in, you know, it's weird because it's still like that phone call is like yesterday when I think about it. And she, the first things that words out of her mouth were Tyler's not breathing. It's like,
[00:24:16] Diana Hunter Ep- Maya View: Right. Wow. Wow.
[00:24:19] Diana Hunter Ep- Diana View: And she said, we're at the hospital. He's been intubated. He's on life support. He had an asthma attack. I don't know that I remember a whole lot else after that, because, you know, my thing was go back in and get the kids, get the husband. We need to get out of church so I can figure out exactly what's going on here.
[00:24:39] Diana Hunter Ep- Diana View: Um, especially being that far away. My mom's upset, you know, and trying to figure out details in my church was not the place to try and sit and figure that out. So, we end up going home, I'm able to talk to my brother who lives with me, um, you know, and after that, things were kind of just crazy. It was multiple phone calls to the hospital, and [00:25:00] to my mom, and to my dad, and nobody can give us definite answers.
[00:25:05] Diana Hunter Ep- Diana View: And I'm like, well, we're in Florida, do we need to come to Oregon? Like, how serious is this? Me knowing full good and well, because I've worked in the medical field. That 20 minutes to get his heart going and it's bad. I knew that, but you don't want to think the worst either. Um, so it's like, do we go, do we stay?
[00:25:28] Diana Hunter Ep- Diana View: And they're like, well, you know, we're doing a few things. Why don't you just wait and see how things play out? Um, plus I was starting a new job the next day.
[00:25:38] Diana Hunter Ep- Maya View: Wow, Diana. Oh
[00:25:40] Diana Hunter Ep- Diana View: like, okay.
[00:25:41] Diana Hunter Ep- Maya View: Mm hmm. [00:26:00] Wow.
[00:26:03] Diana Hunter Ep- Diana View: and my brother are on a flight to Oregon. Um, you know, and it was interesting because I was, didn't have much time to pack, but I remember packing my funeral dress. I specifically, I'm going, going to probably need this. So bring it. Um, that was the one thing I made sure I had. And my brother, who's in the military, he was still in the military at the time, stationed in Kansas, did the same thing.
[00:26:37] Diana Hunter Ep- Diana View: Um, he brought his dress uniform. to wear at a funeral and, you know, because he had to get permission to do that ahead of time. And so he had gotten there not too long before we did, um, but we both had that in the back of our mind. Um, Grant worked in medical in the military, so he knew where we were at, you know, with it as [00:27:00] well.
[00:27:00] Diana Hunter Ep- Maya View: Yeah, that's what I, I, I'm getting from your story is like, I think that's, that's As siblings, like, we have an intuition and kind of a gut feeling, and it sounds like you had that, Diana, but it also sounds like, you know, you and Grant also have a medical history, right? Like, you were, you were picking up what they were putting down when they were speaking to you on the phone, and you were like, I need to go ahead and prepare for this.
[00:27:24] Diana Hunter Ep- Maya View: But what a whirlwind in, in 24 hours or, you know, just over 24 hours that you go from church to, and again, all of us on here can, can relate to the call. It's, it's like one of the languages we all speak. We either made the call, received the call or did both. Right. And it's something you never forget and you describe it so perfectly because right afterwards, it's like.
[00:27:51] Diana Hunter Ep- Maya View: What is even happening and then there's these moments like you packing and packing your funeral dress that we just, it's those moments we kind of pull out of the fog for [00:28:00] a few minutes and we're like, okay, I have to do this. It's kind of like a survival thing. These, these particular moments that we
[00:28:06] Diana Hunter Ep- Diana View: Yep, exactly. Yeah,
[00:28:09] Diana Hunter Ep- Maya View: So what was it like, so you guys flew there, you and, you and your brothers flew there and what happened next? Because you had this very high intuition that we know what was gonna happen next but what did happen next for you when you got there?
[00:28:25] Diana Hunter Ep- Diana View: we got there late, late Monday night, and the first thing we did was go to the hospital. Um, which just happened to be a hospital that I had worked at for 10 years. So I knew the hospital, I knew some of the people that worked there. And the fact that they were willing to let us into the ICU at midnight, I knew was a big thing.
[00:28:48] Diana Hunter Ep- Diana View: So, but we walked in there, me and my brother and David, and My mom and Grant was there with his wife, Wendy. Um, they were planning on [00:29:00] stay in the night and all I remember was looking at Tyler. And knowing he wasn't there. Yes, he, you know, he physically was there, but I just did not feel my brother there. Um, it was almost hard for me even to look at him.
[00:29:16] Diana Hunter Ep- Diana View: Um, because I kind of, I guess, you know, people say they feel like they're kind of already gone. It was almost like that. And my mom was like, well, do you want to stay the night? And I'm like, no. I can't, he's not here. I, you know, I can't do this. And so we ended up going to my mom's house and, you know, went back Tuesday morning after they had run all of their tests and everything.
[00:29:44] Diana Hunter Ep- Diana View: Um, so we were doing that whole. Wait for them to run their tests and then we're going to sit down and then in a little family room with the doctor and figure out what our options are and something kind of interesting in that whole thing, Grant [00:30:00] and I weren't talking at the time. Didn't want anything to do with Grant.
[00:30:02] Diana Hunter Ep- Diana View: I said, just make him and his wife just stay away from me. I'm not here to deal with them and their drama. Um, so I had nothing to say to Grant and neither did David. Um, we were all just so overwhelmed with what was going on at the time. Um, so Tuesday morning, we sit down with, uh, You know, a couple of the doctors in the room where they have the talk, you know, here's what you can expect from Tyler.
[00:30:28] Diana Hunter Ep- Diana View: He was not brain dead. Um, he had brain activity but
[00:30:33] Diana Hunter Ep- Maya View: And I'm going
[00:30:34] Diana Hunter Ep- Diana View: They put it out there. He'll probably never walk never talk never feed himself you know, he'll need 24 7 care and I remember they're just spitting out all of this stuff and Finally when they stopped I was the first one to say he doesn't want that You know, because everybody do you have options and I'm like no, he doesn't want that not Nobody said anything different.
[00:30:58] Diana Hunter Ep- Diana View: They all agreed. They [00:31:00] all knew Tyler and knew him well enough that there was no way he would want to live. However, he was going to come out of this because I know a lot of people struggle with those decisions. And did you make the right decision? Did you not? And I can't say that. I haven't ever second guessed it.
[00:31:17] Diana Hunter Ep- Diana View: You know, I have, but I've also worked in medical long enough to know he would not have been happy how he would have felt. Come out of, you know, of things. So I think. The fact that we were able to make a decision as that fam, as a family who's not even all talking to each other, with no fighting, no, you know, we weren't split on anything.
[00:31:40] Diana Hunter Ep- Diana View: We knew what he wanted, made it a little bit easier, not that it was an easy decision at all, but knowing at least we were all on the same page with that.
[00:31:52] Diana Hunter Ep- Maya View: like this part of your story, um, Diana, because again, we're talking about such a heavy topic, right? [00:32:00] Loss of a sibling, loss of a brother. and It's, you had really complicated family dynamics going on, and there were a lot of things you guys were not agreeing on, and we know that there's so many layers in a family, right?
[00:32:12] Diana Hunter Ep- Maya View: I'm one of four too, I get it. And. But it is kind of a, uh, maybe a glimmer of light in such a dark thing when all of you guys agree. Like, I connect with that and I'm, I also connect with what you're saying about, you know, I, you know, I'd be lying if I said I didn't second guess some things too, some decisions made, things like that.
[00:32:34] Diana Hunter Ep- Maya View: Um, but. The fact that all of you were able to, to come together about that particular thing, about, you know, he wouldn't want to live like this. I think that probably helps you in knowing, like, okay, we all were in alignment with this, even though we couldn't align on other things, it's probably helpful in the healing process.
[00:32:52] Diana Hunter Ep- Maya View: Yeah. Yeah.
[00:32:54] Diana Hunter Ep- Diana View: at least this we were on the same page with. We may have found plenty of other things to [00:33:00] fight over after that. But that one thing, even my mom and dad felt very confident that, you know, we made the right decision. We've never, you know, beat ourselves up over that. You know, but then the next part of that was how do we tell Jack?
[00:33:18] Diana Hunter Ep- Diana View: Um He's five, but Jack has always been very advanced and very smart. When he started going to school, he did skip a couple of grades. The kid is really smart.
[00:33:33] Diana Hunter Ep- Maya View: Quick as a whip. That one
[00:33:35] Diana Hunter Ep- Diana View: is, he absolutely is. So they brought him in and they brought in a hospital psychologist to explain What was going to happen? And he's asking, he was asking what every machine did, you know, why they couldn't fix him, why they couldn't use this machine for this.
[00:33:54] Diana Hunter Ep- Diana View: And it was in a way, it was really cute watching him, you know, he knew what was [00:34:00] going to happen. But he wanted to make sure every option that was in his little mind was explored.
[00:34:08] Diana Hunter Ep- Maya View: got a
[00:34:09] Diana Hunter Ep- Diana View: He, and he was very definite about what he wanted to be there for and not be there for. He did not want to be there when we took him off life support, which
[00:34:18] Diana Hunter Ep- Maya View: Right. All right.
[00:34:19] Diana Hunter Ep- Diana View: understand that.
[00:34:21] Diana Hunter Ep- Diana View: Um, I don't know that I wanted to be there necessarily for it. But, um, it was just amazing watching this kid and the questions he asked. And thank goodness for the hospital psychologist to explain things. Cause I just sat in my corner and cried the whole time watching it. Um,
[00:34:40] Diana Hunter Ep- Maya View: Right. I, I'm always blown away when I hear stories about like, you know, kids and there's not someone there to like help them through this. And so like, what, uh, again, what a little glimmer, right? In such a dark time that you did have someone so amazing to talk him through this [00:35:00] and, oh, that, that's heavy.
[00:35:02] Diana Hunter Ep- Maya View: Like with kids, it's just really heavy. And I, I'm, I think it's, I mean, he's wise beyond his years to know he didn't want to be there during the life support
[00:35:12] Diana Hunter Ep- Diana View: and he still is. Ha ha ha.
[00:35:14] Diana Hunter Ep- Maya View: yeah, cause he would be what? 18, 19 now?
[00:35:17] Diana Hunter Ep- Diana View: 18th, he'll be 19 in September and he is just, he is, he is wise beyond his years. He, he really is. I don't know where he got all that from, but he is the perfect combination of his mom and his dad.
[00:35:32] Diana Hunter Ep- Maya View: I love that. I love that. Um, so Tell us a little bit about, so this obviously happens, Jack has the support of all of you two, I'm, I'm sure, and you guys decide to take him. Was it very quick? Like taking him off life support, was this a quick decision? Did you give it a day or two? What, what was that process like for you guys?
[00:35:53] Diana Hunter Ep- Maya View: Because for me it felt very long and like also very short too. It's, [00:36:00] sometimes people don't understand unless they go through it how humbled because my, my brother, as most of you guys know, he was Pretty much gone when, when he got into the hospital in some respects, but he was on life support, there was no coming back, but that is a definitive moment where you're like, Oh my God, like I'm walking away from the body, right?
[00:36:19] Diana Hunter Ep- Maya View: It doesn't feel like you're a person anymore, but you're walking away from the body. There's a finality to it, which I'm sure you connect with.
[00:36:26] Diana Hunter Ep- Diana View: Right. Oh, absolutely. You know, we had had that, that meeting with the doctor on Tuesday morning and none of us wanted to drag it on. Right. Um, you know, and they explained, okay, so we can take him off life support. Well, how long is it going to, you know, before he passes away? They said it could be a few minutes or it could be a few days.
[00:36:46] Diana Hunter Ep- Diana View: And we thought, Oh my goodness. Okay. So, you know, but our priority was Jack, you know, first of all, not doing anything until he understood what was going on. And none of us wanted. It to drag on, [00:37:00] you know, any longer than it needed to. I mean, I will admit I was a mess, an absolute mess. And I really knew things were getting to that finality when they let you go in and out of the ICU without stopping you anymore, they just saw our family coming towards the door and they just clicked it open and being that that was a hospital I'd worked in.
[00:37:24] Diana Hunter Ep- Diana View: Yeah, everybody knew, everybody knew where it was going and I didn't want to spend forever, you know, in the ICU either. Um, my mom, and I don't know how my mom managed to do it actually, ended up getting me and Grant and David all in the hospital room with Tyler and just the three of us. And like I said, I'm not sure how she got us all three in there.
[00:37:49] Diana Hunter Ep- Diana View: And we all stood around his bed. Nobody really even said much of anything except for look at each other. And we decided right then and [00:38:00] there, this whole fighting, this not talking to each other, it was all done. Um, and I remember we hugged each other and, and things were good. Things were really good.
[00:38:12] Diana Hunter Ep- Diana View: And I can remember what Tyler said just a month prior that, I promise you. Everything's going to be okay. And I thought, you know what, you jerk, you didn't have to do this to get us back in the same room and make it okay. And I'm sure that's not what he was planning, but you know how that, I don't know, things are like in the back of people's minds or they subconsciously know something or I don't know.
[00:38:38] Diana Hunter Ep- Diana View: But he was right. At that moment, everything was okay. Um, We didn't have any idea at the time how Tyler's death would emotionally impact all of us long term. But at that moment, Tyler was right. It was okay, and it was okay for a while. And at least when we walked out of that room, we were all [00:39:00] talking to each other.
[00:39:01] Diana Hunter Ep- Diana View: Everything was good. Relationships were back in place. Unfortunately, it took that situation to do it, but, you know, he was right. Heh.
[00:39:13] Diana Hunter Ep- Maya View: Yeah, I mean, that's just like the foreshadowing in your story is just really, it's really wild and you're not alone with this. It does happen. You're right. It's like sometimes in the back of people's minds and like they don't know why they're saying it, but they say it's interesting. And I, there's a lot of us with these stories and yours is quite remarkable that, that, you know, you got, here you were all in the room with him and you walked out.
[00:39:39] Diana Hunter Ep- Maya View: Unified in that moment, and that's, that hadn't happened for you guys, and that's not the dynamic. So that's really interesting. Diana, I want to ask you this, though, before we kind of move into the aftermath. So he, again, we know he's, Tyler struggled with asthma, you know, since he was quite young, too, was when this came on.
[00:39:59] Diana Hunter Ep- Maya View: But, [00:40:00] What did the doctor say? Was there anything that could have prevented this? I mean, he, again, as someone who has asthma herself, not as, as bad as Tyler did, but you know, you're right. We're trained. We've got our inhaler. We know when there's an issue, when we might need to go to the hospital, when we're not able to catch it.
[00:40:17] Diana Hunter Ep- Maya View: But this seems so fast and so sudden what happened to him? So any, any insight from the doctors or the team that was caring for him? Um, Gosh, it just feels so quick and it's, again, something, you know, we have not really talked about here on the show and I'm glad to bring light to this.
[00:40:37] Diana Hunter Ep- Diana View: He had had asthma attacks in the past that have landed him in the emergency room. Never anything where he ended up on a ventilator. Um, so of course, you know, we're making sure did the inhaler work right? Did it have medication in it? And after talking to the doctor, they said, unfortunately, there isn't any way to know when you're going to have one that just [00:41:00] an inhaler is not going to cut it.
[00:41:02] Diana Hunter Ep- Diana View: Was there things that he should have been doing? Probably. Um, and it was a complicated situation of him being 27, not full time employed, didn't have medical insurance at the time. He should have been on some preventative medication, and he wasn't on it because he couldn't afford it. Which, you know, Mad at myself for not asking, you know, mad at him for not asking me, I would have paid for it, you know, but we also did not, he'd had asthma his whole life.
[00:41:34] Diana Hunter Ep- Diana View: He used his inhaler, he's fine, you know, and it wasn't until after all this happened that I, you know, started looking things up and it's like 3, 500 people a year die from asthma attacks in the United States. Well, that's not really that many. Why does it have to be my brother? Like, what made that happen?
[00:41:51] Diana Hunter Ep- Diana View: That difference for him that day, um, you know, in it, my mom does remember when she had walked out to go make that phone [00:42:00] call, she did hear him throw his inhaler across the bathroom. Um, And he, and he said, a not so nice word, which for him was kind of funny that that was his last word. Um, but like, even he could tell something, you know, and it was winter time and it's Oregon and things are cold and wet.
[00:42:20] Diana Hunter Ep- Diana View: So we didn't have them do an autopsy. So, is there a possibility he could have had, you know, the starting of pneumonia or something like that that made it worse? Yeah, could have been. He was very allergic to peanuts, but there was also nothing like that kept in my mother's house because we knew, you know, he can't even be around peanut oil.
[00:42:41] Diana Hunter Ep- Diana View: That not knowing, I know, definitely made it harder for me. I wanted to blame doctors. I wanted to blame the healthcare system. Like, I wanted to blame somebody.
[00:42:52] Diana Hunter Ep- Maya View: Right, yeah. How do you feel like you've moved forward? Because in almost 14 [00:43:00] years, that's all, that's hard and that's so difficult for You know, our siblings that listen to the show and just if you lose someone in any relationship capacity you Like you said you want to have someone to blame because like having we think mentally but we know better now that we're further along in This journey, but we think that having someone to get angry at or place the blame on like I don't know why we think that's magically going to bring someone back, but it's like, it's grief raid, right?
[00:43:30] Diana Hunter Ep- Maya View: We think that that's going to help us. But you're, again, 13, almost 14 years into your journey, Diana. How did you learn to kind of release that and release that, like, I've got to find this out or, you know, I got to find out that, I mean, because I connect with that and so many of you guys I know connect with that too.
[00:43:48] Diana Hunter Ep- Maya View: And that's a hard part of the journey, I think. So I'm curious to hear how you processed that.
[00:43:53] Diana Hunter Ep- Diana View: It definitely has been the worst. I am, and especially with my siblings, um, I want to fix [00:44:00] everything. You know, if there's something going on, I want to fix it. I want to take care of it. Um, So I unfortunately spent far too many years with this, trying to find somebody or something to blame it on. And I definitely went through every, you know, um, stage of grief, you know, bargaining with God, you name it.
[00:44:22] Diana Hunter Ep- Diana View: Like I went through it and I went through it over and over and over again.
[00:44:26] Diana Hunter Ep- Maya View: Mm hmm.
[00:44:27] Diana Hunter Ep- Diana View: Um, and it's not that Tyler has, is not even my first big loss in my life. Um, when I was 19, I had a stillborn almost full term, you know, baby. I didn't think anything could be worse than that. And unfortunately the situation with Tyler has been, and, Part of that, I didn't take time to grieve, I guess, you know, the right way.
[00:44:52] Diana Hunter Ep- Diana View: I had to come back to Florida, I had to go to work, it was a stressful job that I had, I just, you know, I cried on my way to work, I [00:45:00] cried on my way home, and pushed down all the feelings, and then after about a year, things went bad with my brother again, which I think made my grief even harder.
[00:45:13] Diana Hunter Ep- Maya View: complaint about
[00:45:14] Diana Hunter Ep- Diana View: And what really made a big difference with me was finally around the time of COVID, when online therapy became a big thing, I did find, um, a therapist that dealt with complicated grief, which I did not even know was a thing until I started looking into it.
[00:45:35] Diana Hunter Ep- Diana View: The relationships with my brother, and then the breakdown of that again, and the loss of Tyler. Made mine just so more pronounced, um, to the point a year after Tyler had passed away, I broke down and lost it all together. Um, I ended up not working for 8 years. Um, I had my own. [00:46:00] My thought was if Tyler can't be here, I don't want to be here either. And so did I make some stupid choices there that landed me in the ICU? Yeah, I did. Um, it took a lot of therapy and having to learn to accept, and I know it sounds kind of cliche, but to accept the things I can't control, which is his death. I can't control. thing, you know, that my brother does and that relationship that I have or don't have with him.
[00:46:34] Diana Hunter Ep- Diana View: For me, it's been a lot of accepting of things that I can't change and Our family has a big issue with that. We're big control people. Not only do we like to give our opinion, everyone should have the same opinion. And it's just taken a lot of me changing all of that to be able to accept what happened and to be able to deal better with it.
[00:46:59] Diana Hunter Ep- Diana View: I will [00:47:00] never get over it. Um, But I deal better with it and I am a different person. Overall has helped me. I don't know, you know, if it's Tyler's intent to this whole thing, but I believe everything happens for a reason and it may have taken a long time, but it got me to become more patient, more tolerant, more understanding, But I had to totally lose it all the way to the bottom to be able to start fixing all of that.
[00:47:32] Diana Hunter Ep- Maya View: Yeah. I think, I think you're so brave for sharing this, Diana. And I'm just, I'm so glad to have you here today talking about this because I think it's also interesting that it was a year into your journey where it was just like you were rock bottom because often, you may have heard me talk about this before, but a lot of people don't realize, and I always kind of flinch a little bit or go in with caution when I talk about this with people when they're early in their grief process.
[00:47:59] Diana Hunter Ep- Maya View: [00:48:00] But the first year is Really, it's tough, but it's such a fog and you're in such shock. And then you had so many things going on too, right? You weren't, your job was stressful. It was weighing on you, relationships, just so much going on. And then it's like, when you enter the second year, everything begins to be a little bit.
[00:48:21] Diana Hunter Ep- Maya View: To real right because this kind of shock starts to wear off and you're kind of left with the aftermath So it's not surprising to me and you're just now that I've been through this myself, too And those of you listening have as well that it was at about a year when it was just like I Lost it all because for me it was it was a rock bottom moment for me, too it was there were some things going on with me too and I just connect with you and I was like I I have to You Get it together because it's like, you know, and I'm proud of you for taking care of yourself.
[00:48:55] Diana Hunter Ep- Maya View: And, you know, I think, you know, we need to release as much stigma [00:49:00] around all of that as possible, but most people don't, you know, give significant time off when you go through this type of loss, it just doesn't happen. You know, there's, I mean, we could list all of those things. So, but I think it's really interesting that it was, it was basically a decade into your journey when you really.
[00:49:16] Diana Hunter Ep- Maya View: dug deep into the The work with a therapist and I think that's interesting too And I think an interesting message because I don't think it's ever Too early to start the grieving process, right if you're feeling a loss, but it's never Too late i've had you know folks come on this show and they're decades into their grief sometimes and they're like really peeling back the layers and I think that's Wonderful that you were seeing someone and was like hey, this is complicated.
[00:49:43] Diana Hunter Ep- Maya View: Like this is all the stuff you've gone through You
[00:49:44] Diana Hunter Ep- Diana View: Yeah, exactly. I just kind of at that point thought, maybe I'm just going to live like this the rest of my life feeling this way. Maybe this is what it's like to, you know, to lose a sibling. And I'd had somebody tell me once that losing a sibling is different because [00:50:00] you're losing your past, your present, and your future.
[00:50:03] Diana Hunter Ep- Diana View: And that really hit. That is very true. Um, and I didn't plan on having to bury my two younger brothers, you know, I never knew, you know, but those two I did not expect to be, you know, in that spot. It is, it's just different. Your siblings are in so many different parts of your life that to lose them, I just, I didn't see a way forward.
[00:50:29] Diana Hunter Ep- Diana View: I didn't see a present and all I had was my past and I make a lot of it. I was living in that a little bit. You know, because I wanted to hold on to that. That first year, I would fly from Florida to, um, Oregon for the weekend, just to be closer to my mom, my dad, um, where he was buried. His friends, oh my goodness, his friends, who I did not know a majority of them, have become some of my best friends.
[00:50:59] Diana Hunter Ep- Diana View: They [00:51:00] have been there every step of the way. They have been amazing. Um, I mean, I would, I probably would have moved back to Oregon just to be closer to anybody, you know, that had that connection with him. That made for a rough year flying back and forth, but I kept doing it and then I needed to keep that connection with Jack.
[00:51:19] Diana Hunter Ep- Diana View: Um, you know, he's not going to have his father. He's not going to remember a whole lot about him. Um, I don't know what I was worried about that. This boy has grown up to be an amazing human being. Um, and we're still close with his, his mom. Um, she, well actually my dad ended up moving three doors down from them.
[00:51:40] Diana Hunter Ep- Diana View: So Jack grew up to where he could walk to Grandpa's house. Um, it's just some of it has turned out so amazing. Um, In something that was so awful for all of us to deal with.
[00:51:54] Diana Hunter Ep- Maya View: Yeah. And I think what's so amazing about your story, Diana, is that [00:52:00] you share so openly and so honestly about how this is horrific. It was awful what happened, but over these past 13, you know, plus years going on, it'll be 14 this year. There, there are some beautiful things in, in this, and I think what's so important about sharing stories like yours on this show is for people to understand that, of course, if we could get our sibling back, we would, but this is what has happened, and this is real, and this is reality, and so, sometimes we just need to be open, because even though this is difficult, and of course, we'd, we'd get them back if we could, there are things that happen, and life does carry on, and we will, It is, I feel like it's our right to be able to heal as a human, and I feel like when we lose our sibling, and in our case it's our brother, It's like we feel like we're not, like we're not allowed to live a full life anymore, we're, we're like, you being stuck kind of going [00:53:00] back to Oregon, like, I, I can relate to that because it's like you don't want to let go of that, but it's, an interesting thing happens because When we start to kind of live our lives in honor and bring them forward with us, it kind of changes.
[00:53:15] Diana Hunter Ep- Maya View: It seems like that shifted for you pretty majorly during the pandemic when you started to kind of dive into your, because it is complicated grief. Your grief was not black and white at all.
[00:53:27] Diana Hunter Ep- Diana View: There was a lot of things that made it harder, um, to deal with. And I thought it was just me. I thought, you know, there must be something wrong with me that is making, you know, making it so hard. And, yeah, sitting at home, pandemic, and time on my hands. And, and, Being able to do, you know, video stuff.
[00:53:48] Diana Hunter Ep- Diana View: So they were, you know, it was hard. You couldn't even find, um, very many therapists that would deal with complicated grief. So I was able to actually find somebody out of state and be able to do that. That could [00:54:00] explain how all of these other things were making it harder for me to heal. You know, from the loss of Tyler.
[00:54:07] Diana Hunter Ep- Maya View: Anything else that you want to share with us, Diana, that you have not touched on? I was going to ask you about Jack, but it sounds like Jack is doing great. So shout out to Jack and, um, and also I do want to say too, um, I think it's really cool that your brother's friends became, um, your friends and also became kind of these confidants and supporters in this journey and I've heard from other people too that that is that can be so Helpful and healing because you guys can remember him together bond over that.
[00:54:38] Diana Hunter Ep- Maya View: I think I think that's really That's really beautiful. And I just Again, it's one of those, you know, gifts in the tragedy that, you know, I think as we're on the healing journey, we start to appreciate, but when it's so fresh, it feels like nothing's a gift. Everything's just whatever. Right? It's like, it's like, whatever.[00:55:00] 
[00:55:00] Diana Hunter Ep- Maya View: Yes. But now you can sit here and appreciate all of this, and I think that's beautiful. Yeah.
[00:55:06] Diana Hunter Ep- Diana View: yeah, because looking back now, there are definitely good things that have come out of this, you know, and that's eventually everybody that's lost a sibling will get to that point. I never thought I would see a point where. Any of this had any good come out of it, but it has
[00:55:24] Diana Hunter Ep- Maya View: And people tell me all the time too, they're like, I'm never going to get over this, I'm always going to be miserable, I'm always going to be, you know, fill in the blank, right? Depressed, I'm always going to be, and I'm like, I tell them, just like you said so perfectly, Diana. Nope, you're not going to get over it, but you're going to laugh again, you're going to smile again, just keep, keep at it, keep putting one foot in front of the other, and surround yourself with people who understand this, because it's, it's It becomes much more connecting when people, and like you did too, people who know your loved one who passed, right?
[00:55:56] Diana Hunter Ep- Maya View: And here we talk about siblings, but I think that's so healing and I wish [00:56:00] somebody had told me to do that because it's helpful. It really is.
[00:56:05] Diana Hunter Ep- Diana View: Agreed.
[00:56:06] Diana Hunter Ep- Maya View: Diana, what else would you like to add before we close out and talk about where people can connect with you and, um, share a little bit about the wonderful non profit that supports this episode and you, of course, too?
[00:56:17] Diana Hunter Ep- Maya View: I
[00:56:18] Diana Hunter Ep- Diana View: Well, and I am excited definitely about the non profit that I found. Um, I will say Another part of all of this with tyler that um after he passed away for about five or six years afterwards we Had a non profit that we did for tyler The Tyler Pratt Asimov Foundation, and we've kind of let that go, but that was definitely something that was a big deal for us.
[00:56:43] Diana Hunter Ep- Diana View: And so he was a Harley Davidson mechanic, loved motorcycles. In fact, my mom hates it because I helped him buy his first motorcycle. Got him hooked on them. So we did motorcycle rides in Oregon once a year and donated, you know, the money [00:57:00] to actually, it was really cute. It was, it was called Camp Huff and Puff in Montana.
[00:57:06] Diana Hunter Ep- Diana View: And it was so kids with asthma could go do all these outdoor things and they had medical staff there for them. And, and all of this kind of stuff, COVID kind of ruined all of that, but, um, That was something that we did. And I will say, as hard sometimes as it was to have those every year, it was also a really positive thing to see everybody come together for him and donate to something like that.
[00:57:32] Diana Hunter Ep- Diana View: Um, so those type of things I think are really good, um, to be involved in. And it does help. It absolutely does help to see that their passing had some impact. kind of effect on people afterwards because we would get these cute cards from all the kids that went to the camp that we sponsored and so things like that have been amazing.
[00:57:55] Diana Hunter Ep- Maya View: it's just so helpful, and you're right, sometimes it can be hard because it's a [00:58:00] memory and a reminder that they're not here, but. There's so much beauty in that, right? Because, like, your help, like, in the other side of it, it's almost like this overwhelming feeling, like, okay, yes, my brother passed away, and this was awful, but, like, look at this.
[00:58:16] Diana Hunter Ep- Maya View: Look at this experience we're creating, and that's so cool. I love that you guys did that. That's amazing. Oh my god, I love it. Diana, tell us, um, where we can connect with you because again, there's, there's folks out there that are going to connect with your story, your family dynamics, the asthma aspects, so many different being a second mom to your siblings.
[00:58:35] Diana Hunter Ep- Maya View: Trust me, there's a lot of us out here. Tell us where they can connect with you, where you're comfortable.
[00:58:40] Diana Hunter Ep- Diana View: Um, probably either TikTok or Instagram. I did get rid of my Facebook a couple of years ago because that caused more family drama than anything else,
[00:58:49] Diana Hunter Ep- Diana View: um, but I am on TikTok a lot and I am on Instagram. Um, so either one of those places.
[00:58:56] Diana Hunter Ep- Maya View: Okay, perfect. And we'll put it in the show notes too, but what is your handle on both, [00:59:00] um, Diana?
[00:59:00] Diana Hunter Ep- Diana View: Um, on TikTok, it's Diana, D I A N A underscore Lynn, L Y N N E.
[00:59:09] Diana Hunter Ep- Maya View: Perfect.
[00:59:09] Diana Hunter Ep- Diana View: And honestly, Instagram, I'm not sure. Yeah.
[00:59:15] Diana Hunter Ep- Maya View: put it in the show notes for you. Yeah, we'll put it in the show notes. Perfect. So it sounds like
[00:59:19] Diana Hunter Ep- Diana View: as much.
[00:59:20] Diana Hunter Ep- Maya View: perfect. So you're a TikToker. So reach out to Diana on TikTok and Diana, thank you for sharing your story and Tyler's story with us today. It's just, again, so many parallels with every sibling that comes on, but I, the 27 club thing totally connect with it and I just appreciate your vulnerability and this journey that you've been on.
[00:59:39] Diana Hunter Ep- Diana View: Well, thank you for having me and thank you for doing this. Um, I don't think people realize the difference in the grief and it was so refreshing to run across this that was focused just on siblings. So, I appreciate everything you do.
[00:59:54] Diana Hunter Ep- Maya View: Oh, you're so sweet. Thank you, Diana. And thank you guys so much for listening to the Surviving Siblings [01:00:00] Podcast. 
[01:00:00] Mhm.